Thursday, October 2, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
It's surprising to see how far I've come since the time i thought i couldn't go on. i still remember that day. how everything seemed to be wrong.
how the ground just suddenly dropped from under me. how every word that came out of your mouth seemed to hit me like a wrecking ball. and how each word weakened the foundations that i fought so hard to keep smashing into a thousand pieces.
more so, how i watched with my tears as they began to crumble and fall to the ground when the wrecking ball kept smashing away.
i started to pick up the pieces the morning after trying to put them back together in the hopes that i might be able to rebuild. only to find out that i couldn't do it alone. you took away a lot of the pieces i needed. never to give them back to me. that's when i decided to to stop trying to raise back the foundations. i threw away the pieces o held in my hand along with the rest of the rubble. i then started to clean up the mess. some only needed to be swept away while others needed the help of a bulldozer. these were also those that needed to be further broken down before they could be moved because they were too big. it took some time before i could actually see any progress.
But now its starting to clear things up. sure i have a long way to go before i can clean it all up, but i plan to stick with it. i don't need the bulldozer anymore. i can push most of them myself. the others only need to be kicked out of the way.
i can see the ground again. it mat not be as pristine as when we first saw it. save for a few holes that need some patching, it's still level and strong. and that makes me smile, knowing that despite the heavy weight that we placed on it through the years and having the debris that fell on it with the destruction of what we had constructed , it's still good.
however, even if i do get it cleaned up, i don't think I'll rebuild. it has served its purpose. it has endured so much already and rebuilding on it won't be right. I'm looking for another place where i can build something new. not really consciously looking, just travelling down the road and enjoying the sights. i occasionally go back just to clear up some more, but i don't stay long. there's so much to see, so much to enjoy, so much to look forward to.
someday, somewhere, somehow I'll be able to build again. but right now I'm going to enjoy myself. by the way, you're welcome to go back there to help me clean up. but you don't have .
how the ground just suddenly dropped from under me. how every word that came out of your mouth seemed to hit me like a wrecking ball. and how each word weakened the foundations that i fought so hard to keep smashing into a thousand pieces.
more so, how i watched with my tears as they began to crumble and fall to the ground when the wrecking ball kept smashing away.
i started to pick up the pieces the morning after trying to put them back together in the hopes that i might be able to rebuild. only to find out that i couldn't do it alone. you took away a lot of the pieces i needed. never to give them back to me. that's when i decided to to stop trying to raise back the foundations. i threw away the pieces o held in my hand along with the rest of the rubble. i then started to clean up the mess. some only needed to be swept away while others needed the help of a bulldozer. these were also those that needed to be further broken down before they could be moved because they were too big. it took some time before i could actually see any progress.
But now its starting to clear things up. sure i have a long way to go before i can clean it all up, but i plan to stick with it. i don't need the bulldozer anymore. i can push most of them myself. the others only need to be kicked out of the way.
i can see the ground again. it mat not be as pristine as when we first saw it. save for a few holes that need some patching, it's still level and strong. and that makes me smile, knowing that despite the heavy weight that we placed on it through the years and having the debris that fell on it with the destruction of what we had constructed , it's still good.
however, even if i do get it cleaned up, i don't think I'll rebuild. it has served its purpose. it has endured so much already and rebuilding on it won't be right. I'm looking for another place where i can build something new. not really consciously looking, just travelling down the road and enjoying the sights. i occasionally go back just to clear up some more, but i don't stay long. there's so much to see, so much to enjoy, so much to look forward to.
someday, somewhere, somehow I'll be able to build again. but right now I'm going to enjoy myself. by the way, you're welcome to go back there to help me clean up. but you don't have .
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
A friend asked me, what does it take to be kind? My answer is, “as much as it takes to smile.” And what do you get in return? At the very least, also a smile or a word of appreciation. At most, a wealth and a lifetime of favors. But what is kindness? Webster defines kindness as the state, quality, or habit of being kind….of being sympathetic, friendly, gentle, tenderhearted, and generous….of being cordial, loving, and affectionate… kindness is affection, goodwill.
I have checked my kindness quotient lately. Not that its crucial element of life. It’s just that a little kindness all around makes our universal pursuit of happiness a lot less stressful. Now, don’t you think that’s something we’d all welcome? It’s surprising to note that not everyone realizes that kindness begets kindness. And sometimes the only way to prove it is to initiate goodwill and then see what happens.. showing sympathy is not only sending flowers for the dead. It’s not just offering a hanky to someone weeping. Sympathy is listening. Active listening. Sympathy is helping someone deliberate on an idea, a problem, or a plan. Sympathy is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It’s working, thinking, and feeling with another person. Kindness is showing sympathy from the darkest to the brightest moments in another person’s life. The simple expression of concern is an act of kindness….. who doesn’t know what friendship is? We say someone is friendly when he can make us laugh. We call someone a friend when he goes with us to drinking sprees. But beyond that, friendship is sharing. Sharing a pack of potato chips. Or the lyrics of a new song. Friendship is also giving. Giving gifts. Giving advice. Giving attention. When we share or givr something or a part of ourselves, we demonstrate generosity. And kindness is almost another word for generosity.
Show me a man who can be affectionate without being tenderhearted and I’ll show you a man from outer space. People have different levels of showing affection. But I still have to meet someone who is totally incapable of this very human expression. So the natural, human tendency to display concern and caring, no matter how seemingly trivial, adds so much to the kindness quotient. See? Kindness is contagious. And all you need is to be naturally tenderhearted…. What better opportunity to show kindness than the times you are with your loved ones. You will say, “ it goes without saying, if you love someone, you’re kind to that person.” Unfortunately, another reality in human nature is, people have the tendency to be most unkind to the people they love. Why? Because they set expectation. When their expectations on their relationship with a loved one are not met, they get hurt and they retaliate. Now, this is the time to be kind.. I let my love for them prevail. During stressful times, draw on my love and show a li’l kindness. I give them time to make up for the lost time. Express my concern and offer my support. I tell them that, nevertheless, I still love them. Before I know it, kindness flows back in return.
What does it take to be kind? A little sympathy. A show of affection. Friendliness. Love. It doesn’t cost a cent..
this blog should have been posted days after the accident …
You lied to me boo and I hate liars!!! Remember my blog about you? Do I have to post it again?....... You may may lie and you think the consequence won’t be so bad. You even convinced yourself that white lies are okay because you, and no one else will be implicated. But other people are bound to get involved. How can you make light of possible consequences then? You may lie to save face when you’ve commited yourself to something you couldn’t do. You lied to maintain your credibility. The longer you aren’t found out, the more lies you have to tell to keep up the deception. Pretty soon, keeping your reputation at all cost becomes more important than keeping your honor intact…be aware of what happens when everything explode in your face. You can be sure no one’s going to trust you again. Even if you only tell the occasional lie, it doesn’t matter,on one’s going to completely trust what you say ever again. I’m going to say this again boo, a person who’s lost his honor has lost a thing of great value…you just have to reexamine your standards. Are you under great pressure to keep up an image? Are you afraid of disappointing me? Do you feel you are falling short of other people’s expectations? Ask yourself what you deem more important- how the see you or how you see yourself. Remember that no lie ever goes entirely undiscovered. You can’t fool all the people all the time and keeping track of the last fib becomes too much of a task. Do you really need that kind of pressure? Free yourself from the lie boo.
You lied to me boo and I hate liars!!! Remember my blog about you? Do I have to post it again?....... You may may lie and you think the consequence won’t be so bad. You even convinced yourself that white lies are okay because you, and no one else will be implicated. But other people are bound to get involved. How can you make light of possible consequences then? You may lie to save face when you’ve commited yourself to something you couldn’t do. You lied to maintain your credibility. The longer you aren’t found out, the more lies you have to tell to keep up the deception. Pretty soon, keeping your reputation at all cost becomes more important than keeping your honor intact…be aware of what happens when everything explode in your face. You can be sure no one’s going to trust you again. Even if you only tell the occasional lie, it doesn’t matter,on one’s going to completely trust what you say ever again. I’m going to say this again boo, a person who’s lost his honor has lost a thing of great value…you just have to reexamine your standards. Are you under great pressure to keep up an image? Are you afraid of disappointing me? Do you feel you are falling short of other people’s expectations? Ask yourself what you deem more important- how the see you or how you see yourself. Remember that no lie ever goes entirely undiscovered. You can’t fool all the people all the time and keeping track of the last fib becomes too much of a task. Do you really need that kind of pressure? Free yourself from the lie boo.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
I have a friend whom i consider the most significant in my life. She's not just an ordinary friend 'coz she showered me with everything she could possibly give. The loving gifts she has given me have shaped my life and made me the person i am. She takes good care of me when im sick and comforts me when I’m depressed and in trouble. She's so special to me because it is her whom i can lean on and whom i can open up my real feelings. It is through her guidance that i became a better person and found my real identity. And despite of my weaknesses, she accepted me as what I am.
My outlook in life, my sense of humor, my interests and talents, i can see her in them all. And it makes me happy and proud to know that the qualities in her i love and admire so much are all a part of me. Her sense of values, of fairness, of right and wrong. She's so significant 'coz she's always with me and part of me in my thoughts, in my heart and in the very fabric of my life she's always with me...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
the beginning of a relationship is most magical that we'll always fondly look back to. nobody seems to do any wrong, the smiles never end, the lack of table manners is cute and even the arguing of who hungs up first is standard operating procedure for the first few months.
couples try to know each other's likes and dislikes. when they're apart, they feel pure torture. they all make all excuses just to have a reason to be together. there is no "too tired", "too late" or too many kisses". couples exchange text messages- "good morning," "have you eaten?", 'what did you have for lunch/dinner/merienda?", "i miss you," "are you thinking of me?"
then the princess kisses the prince and suddenly he's a frog, or he kisses her and she becomes the witch....
these are the things that i should have banged my head for. i can't count the number of times i felt like reaching inside myself, taking out my heart, and giving it a warm hug because it really felt cold inside my chest.
the promise of forever and ever is no cast in stone. no insurance company would ever issue a policy of broken hearts and shattered dreams. even marriage, with a binding agreement in black and white recognized in all courts, is not a guarantee of eternal bliss. you can get alimony, though. when a chapter comes to an end, you cry and mourn the passing of an era. give it to the grieving it deserves, but don't hold on to something that would hurt more than give happiness.
every cloud has a silver lining, everything happens for a reason, there is a bigger plan- all cliches and all true. it doesn't mean that we don't get battle scars, but that's all it really is.
still, however trampled, we might have gotten in the past, it's no reason to immediately suspect the next candidate as a potential sadist whose only purpose is to karate-chop your fragile heart to pieces.
every person is unique; and while learning from past mistakes is good, we shouldn't get cynical about love in all forms. there are no rules in handling relationships, and even if there were life would be utterly boring we'd all be flinging ourselves down a cliff and be extinct..
couples try to know each other's likes and dislikes. when they're apart, they feel pure torture. they all make all excuses just to have a reason to be together. there is no "too tired", "too late" or too many kisses". couples exchange text messages- "good morning," "have you eaten?", 'what did you have for lunch/dinner/merienda?", "i miss you," "are you thinking of me?"
then the princess kisses the prince and suddenly he's a frog, or he kisses her and she becomes the witch....
these are the things that i should have banged my head for. i can't count the number of times i felt like reaching inside myself, taking out my heart, and giving it a warm hug because it really felt cold inside my chest.
the promise of forever and ever is no cast in stone. no insurance company would ever issue a policy of broken hearts and shattered dreams. even marriage, with a binding agreement in black and white recognized in all courts, is not a guarantee of eternal bliss. you can get alimony, though. when a chapter comes to an end, you cry and mourn the passing of an era. give it to the grieving it deserves, but don't hold on to something that would hurt more than give happiness.
every cloud has a silver lining, everything happens for a reason, there is a bigger plan- all cliches and all true. it doesn't mean that we don't get battle scars, but that's all it really is.
still, however trampled, we might have gotten in the past, it's no reason to immediately suspect the next candidate as a potential sadist whose only purpose is to karate-chop your fragile heart to pieces.
every person is unique; and while learning from past mistakes is good, we shouldn't get cynical about love in all forms. there are no rules in handling relationships, and even if there were life would be utterly boring we'd all be flinging ourselves down a cliff and be extinct..
Sunday, January 6, 2008
a letter to the bird from the fish
falcon,
ask yourself why you lied..maybe you don't want to hurt another person's feeling.
you want to protect yourself or fear the consequences of telling the truth, you want don't want your relationship to get affected or maybe you just want to avoid inconvenient situations. you lie some more to cover the last fat lie until you find yourself trapped in the habit.
credibility is grounded on truth. lying makes it impossible to relate to others with trust and respect..how often have a lie ruined a relationship?? multiply that in various situations and what you have is a society in chaos.
be convinced that telling the truth is better. remember the principle; "the truth shall set you free". guilt makes us miserable. truth frees us of the guilt and anxiety. if we distort the truth either to protect ourselves or protect relationships, expect our behavior to backfire because no amount of self denial can stem our unhappiness for long. this is motivation enough to stick to the truth even if it hurts. sometimes, lying may seem a reasonable option, "baka kung anong gawin nung tao kung sasabihin ko ang totoo."
granted! there may be situations that call for delaying or "mental reservation",
this means you don't exactly tell the whole truth; you just choose to complete the picture in a more appropriate time. but then again, a person who's lost his honor has lost a thing of great value.
i know now why you lied and i understand...i'm not mad at you falcon...
love
swordfish
ask yourself why you lied..maybe you don't want to hurt another person's feeling.
you want to protect yourself or fear the consequences of telling the truth, you want don't want your relationship to get affected or maybe you just want to avoid inconvenient situations. you lie some more to cover the last fat lie until you find yourself trapped in the habit.
credibility is grounded on truth. lying makes it impossible to relate to others with trust and respect..how often have a lie ruined a relationship?? multiply that in various situations and what you have is a society in chaos.
be convinced that telling the truth is better. remember the principle; "the truth shall set you free". guilt makes us miserable. truth frees us of the guilt and anxiety. if we distort the truth either to protect ourselves or protect relationships, expect our behavior to backfire because no amount of self denial can stem our unhappiness for long. this is motivation enough to stick to the truth even if it hurts. sometimes, lying may seem a reasonable option, "baka kung anong gawin nung tao kung sasabihin ko ang totoo."
granted! there may be situations that call for delaying or "mental reservation",
this means you don't exactly tell the whole truth; you just choose to complete the picture in a more appropriate time. but then again, a person who's lost his honor has lost a thing of great value.
i know now why you lied and i understand...i'm not mad at you falcon...
love
swordfish
Friday, January 4, 2008
"Good human relations is a matter
of forming habits of understanding
people, of being tolerant of others,
of being considerate, of being willing
and active in helping others, and of sharing
with them. It's an attitude of being willing...
to keep others to live more fully, to help them
grow, and enjoy and make the best of lives. The
basic rule of good human relations is to think,
and to talk, and to act i terms of the interest
of the other person. It is to get one's thinking
of one's self and one's little world and directing
it to the other person."--Alvin H. Goeser
of forming habits of understanding
people, of being tolerant of others,
of being considerate, of being willing
and active in helping others, and of sharing
with them. It's an attitude of being willing...
to keep others to live more fully, to help them
grow, and enjoy and make the best of lives. The
basic rule of good human relations is to think,
and to talk, and to act i terms of the interest
of the other person. It is to get one's thinking
of one's self and one's little world and directing
it to the other person."--Alvin H. Goeser
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
At the start of each year, i like to think of my life as a blank page-- no history, all potential. whatever i draw or write on it becomes what i am.
Too often i am a hurried teenager eager to leave my mark on it. and alas, my undisciplined crayolas transgress the self set boundaries and my wayward ink ink smear its immaculateness. so instead of a beautiful picture, i see an unrestrained graffiti. and soon, smudged with frustration all over, i crumple the paper and toss it to the waste basket of broken dreams and resolutions. i don't know about you but i do that every year. i regularly receive, as it were, a new sheet of paper. and make a big mess of it each time.
But God is genius--and gracious.
He knows i cant live a perfect year, so He invented the new year to give me a chance to clean up my mess, to begin again.
Last new year's eve, i made a vow. i was optimistic i would be able to work it out this time. i made a promise i should chronicle events in my everyday life during the 365 days ahead. at least after the year is over, i could visit my past once in a while and really get to know the kind of person i am through the activities and the amount of time i spend through which activities.
a job well done is half done, so as the saying goes. my dream of chronicling important events in my life during the past year is still half done.
yesterday i stumbled one of my dusty diary and what i saw was too much for the conscience. i found that there are memories of which i was able to record, i forgot all about my journal. maybe, had i let some of my friend know about my resolve., i would have done my best just to prove to them that i am one person who can keep a promise.
Maybe!
but even then, trumpeting one's plans and resolve to materialize those plans is a risky business. it means holding oneself up for a possible public ridicule. we're bound, you see, to fall short of our own expectations of ourselves, either through weakness or neglect.
"it doesn't make sense to me," rues a friend of mine, "when people make resolutions year after year knowing that eventually they'd break them."
Oh, really?
For me, not to make resolutions would mean surrender or relegating myself to mediocrity. atop my pile of broken resolutions and empty diaries. i found that i would be none the better without them. i crave for a better future, a better me. i look forward to healing my wounded soul, to forgetting my failures. to junking empty achievements of the past. i long to start all over again with a clean slate. i yearn for renewal.
of course the coming of a new day gives me a feeling of renewal. but for some reason, the advent of January 1 brings with it a sense of divestment unique from that of December 31.
that's why until i've lived a perfect year, i'd wait with intense anticipation for the dawning of each new year. and that's why i make resolutions, year after year after year.
the new year is life's clean sheet of paper otherwise it is the psychological eraser that affords me the privilege of doing away with the blots and blunders in my life's masterpiece. whatever, it is God's creative and gracious way of giving me those countless opportunities to get rid of my mess.
and then, all is well again
Too often i am a hurried teenager eager to leave my mark on it. and alas, my undisciplined crayolas transgress the self set boundaries and my wayward ink ink smear its immaculateness. so instead of a beautiful picture, i see an unrestrained graffiti. and soon, smudged with frustration all over, i crumple the paper and toss it to the waste basket of broken dreams and resolutions. i don't know about you but i do that every year. i regularly receive, as it were, a new sheet of paper. and make a big mess of it each time.
But God is genius--and gracious.
He knows i cant live a perfect year, so He invented the new year to give me a chance to clean up my mess, to begin again.
Last new year's eve, i made a vow. i was optimistic i would be able to work it out this time. i made a promise i should chronicle events in my everyday life during the 365 days ahead. at least after the year is over, i could visit my past once in a while and really get to know the kind of person i am through the activities and the amount of time i spend through which activities.
a job well done is half done, so as the saying goes. my dream of chronicling important events in my life during the past year is still half done.
yesterday i stumbled one of my dusty diary and what i saw was too much for the conscience. i found that there are memories of which i was able to record, i forgot all about my journal. maybe, had i let some of my friend know about my resolve., i would have done my best just to prove to them that i am one person who can keep a promise.
Maybe!
but even then, trumpeting one's plans and resolve to materialize those plans is a risky business. it means holding oneself up for a possible public ridicule. we're bound, you see, to fall short of our own expectations of ourselves, either through weakness or neglect.
"it doesn't make sense to me," rues a friend of mine, "when people make resolutions year after year knowing that eventually they'd break them."
Oh, really?
For me, not to make resolutions would mean surrender or relegating myself to mediocrity. atop my pile of broken resolutions and empty diaries. i found that i would be none the better without them. i crave for a better future, a better me. i look forward to healing my wounded soul, to forgetting my failures. to junking empty achievements of the past. i long to start all over again with a clean slate. i yearn for renewal.
of course the coming of a new day gives me a feeling of renewal. but for some reason, the advent of January 1 brings with it a sense of divestment unique from that of December 31.
that's why until i've lived a perfect year, i'd wait with intense anticipation for the dawning of each new year. and that's why i make resolutions, year after year after year.
the new year is life's clean sheet of paper otherwise it is the psychological eraser that affords me the privilege of doing away with the blots and blunders in my life's masterpiece. whatever, it is God's creative and gracious way of giving me those countless opportunities to get rid of my mess.
and then, all is well again
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