A friend asked me, what does it take to be kind? My answer is, “as much as it takes to smile.” And what do you get in return? At the very least, also a smile or a word of appreciation. At most, a wealth and a lifetime of favors. But what is kindness? Webster defines kindness as the state, quality, or habit of being kind….of being sympathetic, friendly, gentle, tenderhearted, and generous….of being cordial, loving, and affectionate… kindness is affection, goodwill.
I have checked my kindness quotient lately. Not that its crucial element of life. It’s just that a little kindness all around makes our universal pursuit of happiness a lot less stressful. Now, don’t you think that’s something we’d all welcome? It’s surprising to note that not everyone realizes that kindness begets kindness. And sometimes the only way to prove it is to initiate goodwill and then see what happens.. showing sympathy is not only sending flowers for the dead. It’s not just offering a hanky to someone weeping. Sympathy is listening. Active listening. Sympathy is helping someone deliberate on an idea, a problem, or a plan. Sympathy is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It’s working, thinking, and feeling with another person. Kindness is showing sympathy from the darkest to the brightest moments in another person’s life. The simple expression of concern is an act of kindness….. who doesn’t know what friendship is? We say someone is friendly when he can make us laugh. We call someone a friend when he goes with us to drinking sprees. But beyond that, friendship is sharing. Sharing a pack of potato chips. Or the lyrics of a new song. Friendship is also giving. Giving gifts. Giving advice. Giving attention. When we share or givr something or a part of ourselves, we demonstrate generosity. And kindness is almost another word for generosity.
Show me a man who can be affectionate without being tenderhearted and I’ll show you a man from outer space. People have different levels of showing affection. But I still have to meet someone who is totally incapable of this very human expression. So the natural, human tendency to display concern and caring, no matter how seemingly trivial, adds so much to the kindness quotient. See? Kindness is contagious. And all you need is to be naturally tenderhearted…. What better opportunity to show kindness than the times you are with your loved ones. You will say, “ it goes without saying, if you love someone, you’re kind to that person.” Unfortunately, another reality in human nature is, people have the tendency to be most unkind to the people they love. Why? Because they set expectation. When their expectations on their relationship with a loved one are not met, they get hurt and they retaliate. Now, this is the time to be kind.. I let my love for them prevail. During stressful times, draw on my love and show a li’l kindness. I give them time to make up for the lost time. Express my concern and offer my support. I tell them that, nevertheless, I still love them. Before I know it, kindness flows back in return.
What does it take to be kind? A little sympathy. A show of affection. Friendliness. Love. It doesn’t cost a cent..