mama and bem
Thursday, August 28, 2008
It's surprising to see how far I've come since the time i thought i couldn't go on. i still remember that day. how everything seemed to be wrong.
how the ground just suddenly dropped from under me. how every word that came out of your mouth seemed to hit me like a wrecking ball. and how each word weakened the foundations that i fought so hard to keep smashing into a thousand pieces.
more so, how i watched with my tears as they began to crumble and fall to the ground when the wrecking ball kept smashing away.
i started to pick up the pieces the morning after trying to put them back together in the hopes that i might be able to rebuild. only to find out that i couldn't do it alone. you took away a lot of the pieces i needed. never to give them back to me. that's when i decided to to stop trying to raise back the foundations. i threw away the pieces o held in my hand along with the rest of the rubble. i then started to clean up the mess. some only needed to be swept away while others needed the help of a bulldozer. these were also those that needed to be further broken down before they could be moved because they were too big. it took some time before i could actually see any progress.
But now its starting to clear things up. sure i have a long way to go before i can clean it all up, but i plan to stick with it. i don't need the bulldozer anymore. i can push most of them myself. the others only need to be kicked out of the way.
i can see the ground again. it mat not be as pristine as when we first saw it. save for a few holes that need some patching, it's still level and strong. and that makes me smile, knowing that despite the heavy weight that we placed on it through the years and having the debris that fell on it with the destruction of what we had constructed , it's still good.
however, even if i do get it cleaned up, i don't think I'll rebuild. it has served its purpose. it has endured so much already and rebuilding on it won't be right. I'm looking for another place where i can build something new. not really consciously looking, just travelling down the road and enjoying the sights. i occasionally go back just to clear up some more, but i don't stay long. there's so much to see, so much to enjoy, so much to look forward to.
someday, somewhere, somehow I'll be able to build again. but right now I'm going to enjoy myself. by the way, you're welcome to go back there to help me clean up. but you don't have .
how the ground just suddenly dropped from under me. how every word that came out of your mouth seemed to hit me like a wrecking ball. and how each word weakened the foundations that i fought so hard to keep smashing into a thousand pieces.
more so, how i watched with my tears as they began to crumble and fall to the ground when the wrecking ball kept smashing away.
i started to pick up the pieces the morning after trying to put them back together in the hopes that i might be able to rebuild. only to find out that i couldn't do it alone. you took away a lot of the pieces i needed. never to give them back to me. that's when i decided to to stop trying to raise back the foundations. i threw away the pieces o held in my hand along with the rest of the rubble. i then started to clean up the mess. some only needed to be swept away while others needed the help of a bulldozer. these were also those that needed to be further broken down before they could be moved because they were too big. it took some time before i could actually see any progress.
But now its starting to clear things up. sure i have a long way to go before i can clean it all up, but i plan to stick with it. i don't need the bulldozer anymore. i can push most of them myself. the others only need to be kicked out of the way.
i can see the ground again. it mat not be as pristine as when we first saw it. save for a few holes that need some patching, it's still level and strong. and that makes me smile, knowing that despite the heavy weight that we placed on it through the years and having the debris that fell on it with the destruction of what we had constructed , it's still good.
however, even if i do get it cleaned up, i don't think I'll rebuild. it has served its purpose. it has endured so much already and rebuilding on it won't be right. I'm looking for another place where i can build something new. not really consciously looking, just travelling down the road and enjoying the sights. i occasionally go back just to clear up some more, but i don't stay long. there's so much to see, so much to enjoy, so much to look forward to.
someday, somewhere, somehow I'll be able to build again. but right now I'm going to enjoy myself. by the way, you're welcome to go back there to help me clean up. but you don't have .
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
A friend asked me, what does it take to be kind? My answer is, “as much as it takes to smile.” And what do you get in return? At the very least, also a smile or a word of appreciation. At most, a wealth and a lifetime of favors. But what is kindness? Webster defines kindness as the state, quality, or habit of being kind….of being sympathetic, friendly, gentle, tenderhearted, and generous….of being cordial, loving, and affectionate… kindness is affection, goodwill.
I have checked my kindness quotient lately. Not that its crucial element of life. It’s just that a little kindness all around makes our universal pursuit of happiness a lot less stressful. Now, don’t you think that’s something we’d all welcome? It’s surprising to note that not everyone realizes that kindness begets kindness. And sometimes the only way to prove it is to initiate goodwill and then see what happens.. showing sympathy is not only sending flowers for the dead. It’s not just offering a hanky to someone weeping. Sympathy is listening. Active listening. Sympathy is helping someone deliberate on an idea, a problem, or a plan. Sympathy is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It’s working, thinking, and feeling with another person. Kindness is showing sympathy from the darkest to the brightest moments in another person’s life. The simple expression of concern is an act of kindness….. who doesn’t know what friendship is? We say someone is friendly when he can make us laugh. We call someone a friend when he goes with us to drinking sprees. But beyond that, friendship is sharing. Sharing a pack of potato chips. Or the lyrics of a new song. Friendship is also giving. Giving gifts. Giving advice. Giving attention. When we share or givr something or a part of ourselves, we demonstrate generosity. And kindness is almost another word for generosity.
Show me a man who can be affectionate without being tenderhearted and I’ll show you a man from outer space. People have different levels of showing affection. But I still have to meet someone who is totally incapable of this very human expression. So the natural, human tendency to display concern and caring, no matter how seemingly trivial, adds so much to the kindness quotient. See? Kindness is contagious. And all you need is to be naturally tenderhearted…. What better opportunity to show kindness than the times you are with your loved ones. You will say, “ it goes without saying, if you love someone, you’re kind to that person.” Unfortunately, another reality in human nature is, people have the tendency to be most unkind to the people they love. Why? Because they set expectation. When their expectations on their relationship with a loved one are not met, they get hurt and they retaliate. Now, this is the time to be kind.. I let my love for them prevail. During stressful times, draw on my love and show a li’l kindness. I give them time to make up for the lost time. Express my concern and offer my support. I tell them that, nevertheless, I still love them. Before I know it, kindness flows back in return.
What does it take to be kind? A little sympathy. A show of affection. Friendliness. Love. It doesn’t cost a cent..
this blog should have been posted days after the accident …
You lied to me boo and I hate liars!!! Remember my blog about you? Do I have to post it again?....... You may may lie and you think the consequence won’t be so bad. You even convinced yourself that white lies are okay because you, and no one else will be implicated. But other people are bound to get involved. How can you make light of possible consequences then? You may lie to save face when you’ve commited yourself to something you couldn’t do. You lied to maintain your credibility. The longer you aren’t found out, the more lies you have to tell to keep up the deception. Pretty soon, keeping your reputation at all cost becomes more important than keeping your honor intact…be aware of what happens when everything explode in your face. You can be sure no one’s going to trust you again. Even if you only tell the occasional lie, it doesn’t matter,on one’s going to completely trust what you say ever again. I’m going to say this again boo, a person who’s lost his honor has lost a thing of great value…you just have to reexamine your standards. Are you under great pressure to keep up an image? Are you afraid of disappointing me? Do you feel you are falling short of other people’s expectations? Ask yourself what you deem more important- how the see you or how you see yourself. Remember that no lie ever goes entirely undiscovered. You can’t fool all the people all the time and keeping track of the last fib becomes too much of a task. Do you really need that kind of pressure? Free yourself from the lie boo.
You lied to me boo and I hate liars!!! Remember my blog about you? Do I have to post it again?....... You may may lie and you think the consequence won’t be so bad. You even convinced yourself that white lies are okay because you, and no one else will be implicated. But other people are bound to get involved. How can you make light of possible consequences then? You may lie to save face when you’ve commited yourself to something you couldn’t do. You lied to maintain your credibility. The longer you aren’t found out, the more lies you have to tell to keep up the deception. Pretty soon, keeping your reputation at all cost becomes more important than keeping your honor intact…be aware of what happens when everything explode in your face. You can be sure no one’s going to trust you again. Even if you only tell the occasional lie, it doesn’t matter,on one’s going to completely trust what you say ever again. I’m going to say this again boo, a person who’s lost his honor has lost a thing of great value…you just have to reexamine your standards. Are you under great pressure to keep up an image? Are you afraid of disappointing me? Do you feel you are falling short of other people’s expectations? Ask yourself what you deem more important- how the see you or how you see yourself. Remember that no lie ever goes entirely undiscovered. You can’t fool all the people all the time and keeping track of the last fib becomes too much of a task. Do you really need that kind of pressure? Free yourself from the lie boo.
Friday, August 15, 2008
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